Wednesday, September 5, 2007

eBay Auction Spam

eBay, ah, the world's largest digital marketplace...
or a hotbed for a number of spammers.

Here's a beauty I received on my current auction:

From: dhjay
Item: Brand New Nokia 6070 mobile / cell phone
Subject: Re: Question for Brand New Nokia 6070 mobile / cell phone

Q: My dear friend: Please Al habit to disturb your invaluable time! We are the largest Chinese salesman of wholesale of foreign trade. We sharpen the qualited offer goods with the reasonable price. it there with the majority of the kinds in addition to electronic products one our Web site, such have the motor bikes, TV, books, phons, psp, projectors, general practitioners, dvd, FD, Cd., mp3/4, instruments musical, toys, watches and so much one. When you time crosses, visit please our Web site and the contact us.we will try our the best to give you to the satisfactory answer. Hope cuts us the long ones and good bargains together! Our Web site is:<< URL deleted>> MSN/MAIL:<< email deleted>> skype:<< skype deleted>>

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My Answer
My dear friend, you would give me "most satisfaction" by refraining from spamming my auction with your crud...

You should either place a bid or ask a relevant question.

I don't plan to visit your site, and certainly don't wish to "cut you a long one"...

Have a day.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

MyBlogLog Schmoe-zer

Got this on my MBL message panel:

04th Sep 4:31 pm

Hi,andrew how r you? wish you are in a good health... if you like to get traffic to your blog absolutely free,I suggest this site for you [URL Deleted] your blog is really amazing... Wish you best of luck,and i will happy to hear good from you...kisses for your pretty little daughter Bianca...

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A couple of notes:
1) If I don't know you, it's best to make friends first.
2) Dropping your URL before you get to know me tells me that you ultimately want me to go to your site...so do you really want to get to know me?
3) If I don't know you, I'd suggest a private message, if you really want to drop links.
4) The personal reference to my daughter is nice, but perhaps it's too little too late.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Uninvited Blog Review Schmoe

Everyone likes advice, especially if it's free.

If you're trying to master the social networking thing, do observe the rules of social reciprocity.

Would you walk up to a stranger on the street and get his help trying to restructure your home mortage?

Then why would you message someone you don't really know and ask for help the FIRST time you ever speak to them?

It's the online equivalent of the "walk up to a stranger in the street" scenario, isn't it?

It'll be nice to build rapport with someone with your first contact.
From there, once you get to know the person a little better THEN ask for advice...

I meet some strangers at parties, and the first thing they do is gripe about their relationship and talk about what a b*tch or a**hole their partner is. In these scenarios, I run away from them as fast as I can.

Here's a typical first contact schmoe PM on mybloglog:

HI Andrew, my name is [deleted].I have had a website I started 6 months ago and have been trying to launch it for quite a while. [Andrew's note: then why haven't you?]

As a marketeer what is your best advice the site will explain all it is at www.[URL deleted] could you advise me how to promote this with the least expense as is. Many thank

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If you are genuine about building a website or blog, why are you messaging strangers and asking for advice?

Shouldn't you be doing something yourself, and seeing if it works?

It just feels like you want me to go to your site, and maybe click on your adsense ads, and maybe even buy something from you...

If you didn't put in effort to do up your site, I don't think you should be approaching others to try to fix your site.

If you really want to go down this advice solicitation route, I'd suggest building a relationship, and when we know each other better, then ask for a casual review.

Else my team does consultations as part of our suite of professional services.

Schmoe Blogging 101

According to the dictionary, A schmo or schmoe or shmo is a stupid or obnoxious person. It originates from the Yiddish shmok which means p*nis or fool (also see schmuck).

I'll be posting a list of various schmoes and schmoe-like behavior on this blog.

If you're an aspiring blogger or Internet Marketer, this blog will give you an insight into what irritates people, and will hit you directly in the pocket when you try to monetize your blog or website using adsense or affiliate marketing.

Live long and prosper.